Nadnerb

The Arrival
9/04-9/05
We started out at 4:00 in the morning waking up and getting ready for the shuttle. When we got through the hell hole that is security and check in at PDX, we had to walk through the light rain across the tarmac to get to this little twin prop plan that was packed. I’m not scared of flying or crashing or anything like that, but I was honestly worried for my life. When a plane has a hard time taking off, you know you might not want to move around a lot. Landing at seatac wasn’t too bad until we had to get off the plane and run about 500 yards through the rain (it got worse, much worse). Flight to LAX was mucho boring. Nothing cool about the plane, no hot flight attendants (we’ll get there though), nothing.
And them came LAX, I hate LA, every time I go, it’s gross and I’m always afraid of touching anything Maybe this was just in the airport though. When we got there, Grandma couldn’t figure out how to get out of the terminal…. OK it was all of us, I made a few lucky guesses and read some signs and we ended up in the right place. So we checked in, which took way too long, because some four year old my insults to the people around us don’t always make sense was running this whole deal by himself, he handled it like a trooper though and we were able to continue. And the the Asians came, that sounds bad, but it’s not Rereading this that still sounds bad. There were almost all Asians in the security line and us. I saw passports from China, both Korea’s, Japan, and Taiwan. The most frustrating part about it was that I had no clue as to what anybody was saying. At least in France I’m able to pick out words.
So we continue, oh! What’s this? The flight that we thought we were late for is an hour late? Well, that was kinda the icing on the frosting(think about it it will make sense)It really does make sense. So we waited, by this time it was nearly 1:00 PM Pacific. If you’ve been to LAX, you must hate the design also. You have to get on this shuttle bus, drive for like 20 minutes and then walk some more, and then get on your plane. But here’s the best part, Air Tahiti Nui. Hot flight attendants,I must have either lowered my standards or just been amazed with French, they really were rather average, still pretty though and very nice too. and they speak French. Could it get any better? The answer to that rhetorical question is: YES. You could be on a ten hour flight to Paris and all they do is serve you stuff and ask if you want more food. But I digress, The flight was fine, minor turbulence and very uneventful, poorly done movies that you would never spend money on. And we flew and flew and flew for 10 hours straight.
And it was the most unsatisfying landing ever, and here’s why. The De Gaulle airport is almost 45 minutes away from Paris. And we had to wait for that bus. That freaking bus driver, I’ll talk about him later. We had to drive to each terminal to see if more people needed to go. And then began the most dangerous bus ride of my life. Parisian drivers are nuts, It’s amazing that more people don’t get killed. This driver liked to play a little game where he went incredibly fast and then stopped mere millimeters away from the next car, which in most cases was either some small Peugeot with three kids in the back, or an ambulance. Which reminds me, He was doing a sudoku puzzle, while driving a commuter bus through downtown Paris. Oh, and he was singing to himself, while also yelling insults in French at bad drivers (the sane ones). People have no problem running over you here and unlike Americans, they don’t slow down to stop, they just stop. Reminds me of Elf “watch out for the yellow ones, they don’t stop” Walking across a street in America you can see a car coming and be like, oh, I’ll just jog half way, wave and walk the rest. In France you see a car coming and It’s like, Oh, $%)*#, I’m gonna die, thank you all, I hope to see you in heaven someday. And then they stop.
Unfortunately for us, the bus stop is like a ten minute walk from the hotel. So off we went to to the Hotel Peletier Haussman. Guess which streets it’s on?It was on Haussman Boulevard But our rooms weren’t ready and it was about noon. So the obvious thing to do is eat. We went to a nice…get ready for it…Italian place and it was the first time I’ve ever had pizza out of America. Something they did was amazing though. What’s even more weird is being of legal drinking age. We each had a beer with lunch and nobody really even thought about it. It feels so wrong, but in all the right ways. it was some French beer called Kronenbourg 1664 which turns out to be the Bud Light of France. It’s much better though and doesn’t taste like bread and piss. I’m done with beer now. We’ll get to more alcohol later.
Back to the hotel to see the rooms, the double room is quite nice, It even has a balcony, my room looks out at more windows, but that’s okay. After getting the rooms, grandma and I decided to check out the huge shopping places, one is called le gallerie Lafayette and consists of every major fashion label out there, the other place is called Printemps and is so big they have one 6 level store for women and another 6 level store for men, not to mention the 5 level store for home stuff and beauty. She found a perfume that she had been looking for and it was sold by the gayest Frenchman you will ever see, I can nearly guarantee it. He had these high pinstripe pants with a tiny H (for Hermes, the brand) belt and a really tight shirt. Come to think of it maybe he wasn’t gay, just French He also had this kind of “Oh! I know I’m a jerk and I like it. He will forever be known as the perfume fairy. Less importantly though I found really expensive clothes that I really want. .
Then we needed to get some dinner, what to get? How about French bread, cheese and wine (or beer, just wait). So we found this little alley that has amazing stuff in it. At first we just wanted to get a baguette and cheese, but then realized it would be cheaper to buy a sandwich, so we did. Walking back to the hotel we found le supermarche and the best store I have ever been in. This store makes me want to live here. They had 2 (not 1) isles dedicated to cheese. And the whole back was wine and beer and liquor. Wow, was I really that excited about booze? They had a bakery, but not the type that only cooks twice a day. They had fresh stuff coming out when we were there at 3 pm. So we bought some carrots, wine and beer. Walking through downtown Paris in the Opera district with a 6 pack of Heineken under your arm is a weird feeling, especially when you feel like you are doing something illegal. So we walked back to the hotel, planned the next day and had some wine. I went to my room with a beer and wrote this (sorry for any spelling errors, not my fault) That really does just make me sound like an alcoholic. Not a bad start to the trip.